When was the last time you cried? You might have lost a loved one or been hurt by someone physically or mentally. Perhaps you wept because you felt bad for something you did. You may have cried because you felt all alone. Whatever the reason, everybody cries and should not be ashamed of their tears.

Our Lord Jesus Christ did not hold back His emotions when he saw others mourning the death of Lazarus. We are told that “Jesus wept,” (John 11:35). This was not a sign of weakness in Jesus – recall that Jesus would express His power shortly afterward by raising Lazarus from the dead. The fact that Jesus could raise Lazarus and yet still wept over his physical death shows that His heart was heavy.

Sometimes, life deals us things that seem impossible to deal with. Consider what Job went through. Pay particular attention to Job’s response after he lost much of possessions, his servants, his own children and his health. We are told about three friends that came to him. “And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.” (Job. 2:12-13).

All children of God can learn from Job’s example. Here are several points to consider about grief and sorrow:

It is okay to grieve

The text said that Job’s grief was great. Considering his losses, we can all agree that it was justified. Recall how the Roman brethren were admonished to weep with those that weep (Rom. 12:15). It is impossible to know who to weep with if those who hurt are not mourning. We can conclude that it is NOT wrong for Christians to reveal their sorrow. The key to this is remembering that despite all that Job went through, “in all this Job did not sin with his lips,” (2:10). Grieving is clearly acceptable, yet grieving does not give us a right to sin.

It is okay to accept sympathy

Some might feel that showing grief will draw attention to themselves. There is no question that people will notice, but this is not a bad thing. Suffering in silence might appear to be the solution when in reality it can make things harder. When Job’s friends heard about his adversity, they came to be with him. Just as it is okay for a grieving person to weep, it is acceptable for others to weep with them. Christian brothers and sisters are always ready to bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2).

It is okay to say nothing

Job’s friends came to be with him. Rather than immediately trying to cheer him, they sat and said absolutely nothing for seven days. If ever there is a time to be “slow to speak”, it has to be when someone is suffering (James 1:19). A dear friend of mine lost a teenage son. After that tragic event, he remarked to me, “Why do people feel like they have to say something all the time?” Folks, this speaks volumes. Never forget that your presence can mean a lot.

It is not okay to say the wrong thing

Our last point emphasized the need for quiet. This is not to say that we should never say anything to those that grieve. Job’s friends eventually spoke to him. They were pretty hard on Job though and said many things they should not have. In the end, the Lord told those three friends that what they said was not right (Job 42:7-8). We must take care to not make things worse when extending sympathies!

                                                                                                Chuck